Emulated adventure

There's a flash program that's supposed to emulate a Game Master for a roleplaying game.  Basically, you ask it questions and it gives you answers and you have to interpret how the answers fit into the story you're playing.  Here's my first attempt at using it.  These are the questions I asked along with my interpretations.

Captain Lord Cheeseham, a starship captain, has entered a sandwich shop, hoping to get a cheese sandwich.  The counter is fastidiously attended by an old retired groinbot.

With a soft whir of old motors, the groinbot is wiping down the counter.  Captain Lord Cheeseham strolls through the door, shutting it to the ringing of small bells.  The groinbot pauses in its motions, its sensors swinging up to orient on Captain Lord Cheeseham.

Q: Are the groinbot's arousal circuits still functioning? NO

Captain Lord Cheeseham feels a familiar pressure, causing him to wonder about the sanitation facilities of the shop.

Q: Is there a working bathroom in the shop? Terrifying Masculinity

Captain Lord Cheeseham squeezes his legs together slightly and asks the groinbot, "Excuse me, do you happen to have a working bathroom?"  The groinbot lifts a finger, indicating the back of the room.  With a nod of appreciation Captain Lord Cheeseham rushes to the back and finds the door.  As he enters the small room beyond and flicks on the light, he finds the walls, the mirror, and the toilet covered in an impressive display of urinary facility.

Q: Is the sink also covered in urine? NO

Shrugging, he decides to add to the biological art display and relieves himself on the toilet tank, before washing his hands and returning with a swing in his step back to the shop counter.

Q: Is the groinbot still cleaning? YES

The groinbot continues to push a sodden rag gone to threads up and down the counter.

Q: Do you have any cheese sandwiches? Pleasant Oldness

"Excuse me, have you any cheese sandwiches remaining?" asks Captain Lord Cheeseham.

"Why, yes!" exclaims the groinbot.  "In fact, the cheese has been aged to perfection.  Would you like one?"

"Certainly."

The groinbot turns and walks to a sealed cupboard by the end of the counter, hips thrusting with each step.  A programmatic tick left over from an earlier profession.

Q: Is there anything in the cupboard other than cheese sandwiches? NO

The doors of the cupboard swing wide with a hiss, revealing neat rows of cheese sandwiches from edge to edge.  Selecting one, the groinbot closes the doors, seals resetting automatically, then thrusts his way back to Captain Lord Cheeseham, placing the sandwich on a serviscrap and handing it to him.

Q: Is the cheese sandwich expensive? A Revelation regarding Armament

"Now," says the groinbot, "in payment for such an excellent sandwich, I will require your plasma pistol.  It fascinates me for some reason."  He stretches out his metallic hand, fingers expanding and contracting slightly with soft clicks.

Q: Can the groinbot be talked into accepting money instead? A Rough Likeness of Grandiosity, Retired Groinbot 9000

"Would you accept money instead?  I have 50 new credits," says Captain Lord Cheeseham.  The groinbot pauses in thought.

"No, but if you'd be willing to carve a small statue of me out of a block of cheese, I'll accept that in payment."  The groinbot sets a yellowish brick and a plastic knife on the counter.

R: Trying to carve a groinbot statue from cheese: 3/20

Captain Lord Cheeseham picks up the plastic knife and moves it through the cheese in deft swipes, sending small cheese bits skittering across the counter.  After a moment he finishes and steps back from the creation.  An artistic rendering of the groinbot, in cheddar.

With an electronic gasp of delight, the groinbot snatches the statue and stares at it lovingly for a moment before stuffing it into a secret cavity in its metallic body.

Q: Does the groinbot say anything interesting? NO

The groinbot utterly speechless, Captain Lord Cheeseham takes a bite of the delicious sandwich, nods his thanks, and heads back to his ship.